


279 Missed Messages

by Icepool



Series: HideKaneSmutWeek2015 [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Day 2, Decapitation, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, HidekaneSmutWeek2015, Hurt/Comfort, I did so much math to get the title, I tried to keep them in character, Kagune Fight, M/M, Male on Male smutting, Mild cussing, Oneshot, Reuniting, Smut, hidekanesmutweek, maybe slight OOCness, this is so freaking loooooong, this story has broken me spiritually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 09:55:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4217223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icepool/pseuds/Icepool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After receiving his phone for the first time since Kaneki officially "went missing," the half ghoul realizes just how empty his life is without Hide. </p>
<p>Hide's acquaintances coerce their classmate to an upperclassman's house party with two promises: pretty girls and accessible alcohol. Interested in neither, Hide nearly declines the invitation until he discovers the party gives him an excuse to visit the ward he suspects Kaneki's hideout is. </p>
<p>The two meet under less than ideal circumstances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	279 Missed Messages

**Author's Note:**

> *rolls in several days late with Starbucks* Day 2 isn’t over until I say so. Plus I worked on this all damn week and followed the theme Reuniting (technically there’s hurt/comfort and kinky stuff, but I have plans for those days.)
> 
> Here’s another stab at smut with guest appearances from Tsukiyama, Hinami, and two brief OCs. Starts poetic, but at the end, I just went for it. This is so long, how did I even type this monstrosity? 
> 
> Dedication: Anyone who’s been cheated out of an orgasm due to lack of communication. I am here for you.

The marvels of spring created a sinking feeling in Hide’s heart. With every warm breeze carrying the scent of blooming flowers, Hide wanted to crawl back in time. Kaneki had vanished without a trace just before the start of winter, and the sight of nature’s renewal made Hide feel almost cynical with irony. A small part of him died each day Kaneki chose to ignore him. 

Hide crossed his arms behind his head as he walked behind two of his classmates. The duo chatted about everything from the CCG’s recent ascent into power to which one was allowed to ask a mutual friend out on a date. The slight ache in Hide’s chest threatened to expand beyond his control. When was the last time he and Kaneki talked?

The answer resided in his email history. 

Kaneki: I may need to work a double shift tomorrow. (Sent 9:23 pm)

Hide: aww, y can’t some1 else work 4 u? ;_; (Sent 9:23 pm) 

Kaneki: I’m sorry. I promise I’ll call you when we close. (Sent 9:25 pm)

Hide: :c i’ll just go eat alooonee @ big girl, Kruelneki Ken (Sent 9:25 pm)

Kaneki: =_= (Sent 9:32 pm)

Hide: >:D (Sent 9:33 pm)

Hide: don’t 4get to call, i worry about u (Sent 2:11 am)

Kaneki: There’s no need to worry about me, Hide. Please go to bed if you’re not studying for your exam in the morning. (Sent 2:12 am)

Hide: i can’t help it! ur my best friend! (Sent 2:12 am)

Kaneki: I know… Goodnight, Hide. (Sent 2:19 am)

Hide: night! (Sent 2:20 am)

An entire season passed without a word from Kaneki’s end. Hide thought initially tracking his best friend’s whereabouts was the most heartbreaking thing he would face in his entire life.

Oh, he was mistaken.

Kaneki never returned. Hide’s door remained unlocked 24/7, but he never came home to find his friend waiting for him. The blond visited Anteiku enough that the employees would simple shake their heads when he walked in the door. Hide called or texted every day to let Kaneki know they were still close friends and received a frigid silence in return. 

One of his classmates turned his upper body toward Hide, Katsu he recalled, and asked, “Wanna join us tonight, Nagachika?” The conversation somehow meandered to the party an upper classman was hosting. Everyone seemed excited from the promise of accessible alcohol and pretty girls. Hide was unfortunately interested in neither.

Nevertheless, he forced a cheap grin and lamented, “Sorry, I have plans. Tell me all about it Monday, so I can at least feel the leftover good vibes and pretend I was there.” 

The shorter teenager cut his eyes to his friend with a practiced quirk of his tawny eyebrow. The other responded by slightly jutting his chin forward. Hide watched the silent exchange with repressed envy. Kaneki and he could have entire conversations without an actual spoken word. Katsu and Makoto clearly shared a similar bond. 

Makoto looked up to Hide with a concerned expression, “Are you sure? You look like a night off would do you good.” Katsu’s steady gaze sent the message he was also worried about Hide’s health.

Hide wondered how two classmates he only knew through school could tell something was off. He grinned to the point his eyes appeared closed, “Ah, did you hear? I joined a part-time position. The schedule change must be getting to me.” 

Katsu dropped his head until his chin length hair covered his eyes, “Sorry for the intrusion, Makoto and I just thought…” He trailed off.  
Hide swallowed past the lump in his throat and continued the conversation as if he were clueless as to where it was heading, “Thought what? That I needed to drink my nonexistent problems away at some senpai’s house party?” 

Makoto clasped his fingers together and twirled his thumbs at the base of his blue shirt, “No. You’ve been so concerned about Kaneki about these past few months. Letting yourself breathe for a minute-” he cut himself off and stared at the passing cracks in the sidewalk. 

Katsu stopped walking and turned to look Hide in the eyes, “We may not be as close friends as you and Kaneki were, but we can tell you’re suffering. You check your phone every two minutes, hang missing posters, go to the shittiest places Tokyo has to offer,” Hide’s classmate extended a hand towards the blond, “And you look terrible. You don’t seem like the guy to let his hair look like matted clumps of blond dirt or wear clothes that look like you dug them out of a trashcan. Hide, if Kaneki does come back just to see you in this state, will he be grateful or feel guilty for making you this way?” 

Hide couldn’t seem to find a response to Katsu’s lecture. How could he have been so careless with his misery? Even acquaintances from his festival club were noticing him slip into a depression. “I,” Hide swallowed to alleviate his dry mouth, “I don’t.” And now he was at a loss for words. 

Katsu shouldered his bag and marched off. It wasn’t his place to judge Hide any farther about how he conducted his life. His obsession with finding his missing friend was understandable to a certain extent, but sacrificing his health five months after Kaneki disappeared was ruining Hide. Katsu figured Hide was at the point of either vanishing without a trace as well or learning to survive without Kaneki in his life. The poor guy even seemed to think he wasn’t allowed to go out if it wasn’t to search for the literature student. 

A few moments after Katsu’s abrupt departure, Makoto put a gentle hand on Hide’s shoulder, “You know, unwinding for one night might help you out more than you think. That’s just my opinion though. See you Monday, Nagachika.” 

Hide closed his eyes for a moment and allowed his brain to work at hyper speed. Weighing the options in his mind, he regrettably found no reason besides gnawing guilt keeping him from getting drunk off his ass and letting his pain lessen for a night. With the unknowing help of the CCG, Hide only had a basic knowledge of which ward Kaneki might be residing in. Even if he did find out exactly where the half ghoul had hide himself away to, what would he do with the information? Watch his friend like a crazed stalker through a pair of binoculars until he could conveniently bump into him on the street? 

Absolutely. 

Hide’s brown eyes snapped open as another thought came across his mind. He chased after his two classmates while screaming, “Wait!! Which ward is the party at?”  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kaneki heard the door of his apartment open with a careless slam. His gray eyes rolled to the ceiling from the thought of the ghoul responsible. 

“Heartbreak!” Tsukiyama proclaimed. Usually the term coincided with a concern regarding the half-ghoul, so Kaneki released a lackluster sigh and padded into the living room. 

“Big Brother!” Hinami greeted from behind a plastic bag, “I met with Big Sister today.” Kaneki responded with a small, but honest smile.

“Did Touka teach you how to make latte art?” 

“Anteiku was crowded today. I got to watch Big Sister make cute bunnies and messages though she couldn’t really explain fast enough to keep up with the orders.” Kaneki nodded and turned to Tsukiyama. 

“Thank you for escorting Hinami today.” The purple haired ghoul dramatically brought his right hand over his heart.

“How could a gentleman ignore such a heartfelt plea? But alas, misery permeates the air.” Kaneki raised a white eyebrow in question. 

Tsukiyama covered his attractive face and declared, “My dear Kaneki has been tragically replaced by some médiocre ghoul with no flavor by Anteiku’s staff.”An eye peered out as the ghoul spread his fingers apart, “I could not bear to accept their cold decision,” he added with a glance towards Hinami as if to explain why he allowed a lady to carry such a large bag. 

Kaneki swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat, “No, Anteiku deserves to move on without me. I haven’t worked in months.” The fourteen year old raised her bag with a slight crinkle.

“Big Sister asked us to bring your things. All this was in Big Brother’s locker.” Kaneki took the sack and rifled silently through the contents: a navy sweater, white button up shirt, a novel he never finished, and his phone were crumple together along with a few other items. He could mentally picture Touka balling his possessions and slamming them into the bag while muttering angrily beneath her breath. 

What he didn’t imagine was the painful clench of her jaw as she held tears back or the grimace when she realized the locker was bare. Nor that Touka curled into a ball on her covers after Hinami left and cursed the universe for Kaneki’s undeserving transformation from a sweet, gentle boy to a distant ghoul killing himself over a misguided goal.

No, Kaneki found envisioning a ghoul angry with him easier than accepting Touka’s mourning for a friend who wasn’t even dead. 

Hinami leaned forward on her toes. “Big Sister also threatened to-….” She paused awkwardly.

“Mmm, kick Kaneki’s ass, was it?” Tsukiyama chimed in.

Heat gathered on Hinami’s cheeks, “Yes, kick Big Brother’s butt if he didn’t look at his phone.”

Kaneki flipped the device screen side up. Naturally, the phone was completely dead after months of sitting in a locker while most likely still receiving emails. “I’ll check after it’s had a while to charge, alright?” Hinami gave a vigorous nod and twirled around to the couch. She crossed her legs on the cushion as Tsukiyama had taught her and opened the novel that previously lied beside her notebook. 

Tsukiyama followed Kaneki at a respectable distance to his room. He watched the nineteen year old dump his old clothes into the trash can while he leaned against both arms on the doorframe. “Have you outgrown them, Kaneki?” 

Kaneki stared dejectedly at the floor. “Why else would I throw them away?” 

The ghoul felt a twinge of empathy override his customary desire to consume Kaneki’s delectable, forbidden flesh. “Only one person can answer that question,” he replied with a light tap to Kaneki’s chest. Tsukiyama walked out of the room after the slight invasion of personal space. “As you rise above the average crowd, letting go of the ones dragging you down may feel lonely at first. Greatness, genius, and strength are qualities only outcasts with crowns understand.” 

Kaneki frowned at the advice. Did Tsukiyama really want him to reconsider his goals? He shook his head; looking too hard into the ghoul’s conflicting words and actions would only leave weak ideas in his heart. 

The teenager eyed his phone with apprehension. Would delving into his human past truly accomplish anything?  
He plugged in the phone at the thought of Touka chasing after him at this stage of his plan. Bowing to this one request would ensure her safety better than attempting to lie for no apparent reason.

The continuous buzzing of new messages began after he shelved the novel on his bookcase. Kaneki wondered over to the phone when the chiming didn’t stop.  
Ten, twenty, fifty, seventy messages all from one source. The ache in Kaneki’s chest magnified until he felt as if his ribs were curling in and jabbing the organ they were meant to protect. An hour later, Kaneki trembled as he reached for the phone once it finally fell silent. 

Two hundred and seventy-eight unanswered emails and missed calls. 

From the way his phone was designed, all the missed calls and emails were organized in a straight line by the date received. At the top, Kaneki felt a shudder from the date he “went missing.” 

Six missed calls in the span of the night Kaneki was taken by Aogiri. The next day, there were was a text or call almost every hour. On the third day Kaneki was missing, his friend called him every hour. Kaneki’s breath hitched as he continued scrolling through the messages. The calls escalated to every thirty minutes on the fourth day. There was no way Hide could have slept those three days with the amount of messages glaring on the screen. 

Kaneki wiped his eyes. He’d rather eat a four course meal than be forced to recognize Hide’s torment because of him. 

Luckily, the messages dwindled down to once every two hours, then twice a day. Kaneki’s heart leapt to his throat when he realized for exactly ten days, the texts stopped completely. Somehow, Hide knew Kaneki couldn’t respond. 

For the four months since, Hide only tried to contact him once a day. 

Kaneki curled around the device and began the agony of actually reading or listening to each of Hide’s messages. A small flicker of the former Kaneki came back to life from the sound of Hide’s voice, and it hurt to acknowledge his friendship after forcing it to fade away. 

“Kaneeekiiii, are you done with your shift yet? Rabbits die of loneliness, you know! ... ”  
______________________________________________________________________________

A few hours later, Hide knocked on the upper classman’s door in time with the obnoxiously loud bass in the background. A random partygoer opened the door, looked over his pink sleeveless jacket and blinding yellow shorts with slight confusion, then proceeded to shrug and allow him inside. Honestly, it was the easiest infiltration in his life.

His festival friends sat in a group together by the living room window and waved the blond over with inebriated enthusiasm. Hide laughed at jokes, smiled at flirtations, and beamed from the reactions toward his ridiculous getup. 

A girl with anime buttons covering the straps of her bag suggested a drinking game. The entire group argued good naturedly about which to choose until Ring of Fire gained the most votes. Hide shuffled the cards while a few of the others ran off to grab an obscene amount of alcohol. He stacked them in a wide circle and allowed the general excitement to guide his actions for the next three hours.

“S-seven heaven!” Someone Hide could honestly not remember meeting before shrieked as she read the rule of the card. The nine players gave various noises of distress as they jabbed their index fingers toward the ceiling. Hide laughed and joined in the hollering at Makoto when his finger was the last to rise. The teenager plugged his nose shut and took a large gulp of his orange drink after humming a line from a song he picked off the top of his head. 

Hide fumbled for the next card in the circle. Woah, how did the cards all scatter away from his hand? 

“Looks like Nagachika’s toasted,” a random giggle noted. 

He snorted in disdain, “I’m totally not.” For his first true experience with alcohol, Hide felt he was reacting pretty well (excepting the slight nausea and forgetting exactly what lead to each round of laughter). The blond smoothed his hair back under his grey cap and read the card aloud. “Six,” everyone chimed in with “Dicks” and all the guys took a swing from their respective bottle/cup. 

The warmth in Hide’s belly mutated into a nasty lurch in his gut from the swallow of whatever pink liquid swirled around in his cup. He quickly covered his mouth and nose until his innards quit rebelling about the imbibing. Quitting now would be in his best interest. Besides, he needed to do his daily catch-up with Kaneki he realized with a quick look at the time. 

Hide somehow used the edge of the window to drag himself off the floor. All the liquid in his stomach sloshed detestably around his abdomen and sank painfully into his bladder. 

“I’m gonna go pee,” he announced. The group laughed and told him to be safe along with other nonsensical phrases. 

The blond stumbled through the crowd in the direction he assumed a bathroom would be. Guessing by the layout of the house, a less teeming bathroom should be connected to the master bedroom. Hide muttered a quiet apology to the couple necking on the bed, but pawed the sliding door open anyway. 

After relieving his bladder, Hide washed his hands and sat on the edge of the tub. He stared blankly at the screen of his phone for a few minutes until a familiar voice spoke from behind him, “Yo, Nagachika. He ain’t gonna call himself.” Hide leaned back against the shower curtain in wonder. 

“God, is that you?” 

Katsu chuckled from the bathtub until the action sent him into tiny hiccups. “Hardly. God probably isn’t covered in someone else’s puke and trying to figure out how to start the damn shower.” Hide felt a grin split across his face.

“That’s gross, man. Not gonna lie. Now I see why you disappeared awhile ago.” 

“Yup. I’m actually dead inside. I can roll out of here if that’s what you’re waiting for.” 

Hide blow out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t even caaaare anymore. I thought I’d text, but the screen’s hurting my eyes. Listen all you please.” He thought for a minute. “You find Kaneki’s number and I’ll turn the shower on for you, how about that?”

“Deal, bro.” Katsu’s thankfully clean hand scraped against the tile wall past the curtain. Hide placed his phone in it, and then knelt by the head of the tub. The knobs were labeled in English. No wonder. Hide tuned the water on and pulled a tiny ring from inside the actual faucet. Warm water sprayed out. The duo gave a victorious shout and Hide’s phone popped into his vision.

Dialing Kaneki Ken read across the screen. 

Hide smashed the phone to his ear and listened to Kaneki’s voicemail speech for probably the hundredth time. After the beep, he poured his words out in an excited hurry, “YO, Kaneki! I’m really missing you big time right about now. I got invited to a party and drank –pause- so much alcohol. You’re my limit. You hold me back in a good way. We’d be home by now if you were here, and I’d like that very much. Yeah dude.” Hide sucked in a breath. The vodka burned his tongue slightly. 

“I wanna go home. Laughing’s fun and all, but it’s time for me to go home. I might get lost though, how’d I even get here? Oh yea, I walked. Didn’t want to hurt my bike.” The blond breathed into his device for a few moments. “Didn’t want that freaky guy to take my bike. I love my bike. 

“Yeah, the sixth ward isn’t as safe as you think it is. You think it’s good, but Imbiber is stalking the streets. I don’t care though. I’ll make sure you’re alright. This hide and seek game has gone on long enough, huh? I’ll finally put some real effort into it.” 

Hide looked around the empty street and wondered how he ended up there. He leaned against the closest building and continued walking aimlessly through Ward 6. “Kaneeeki,” he called out away from his phone, “I’m lookin! Don’t worry bud, I’m gonna find you!!” The blond shoved the phone in his pocket so he could cup his hands to his mouth. 

“Kaaaaaneeeekiiiii!” 

The hairs on his neck rose as he felt someone’s gaze on him. Whatever. If he got eaten looking for Kaneki, then he would just be an utter failure of a friend. 

An arm wrapped around Hide’s shoulder and led him into an alley. The man had a really nice smile, so Hide returned it to the extreme. 

The ghoul Imbiber, a recent addition to the CCG’s list of wanted ghouls, came to the forefront of Hide’s hazy mind. Assumed male, the ghoul was known to eat the abdomens of highly intoxicated college aged humans in Wards 6, 7, and 18. Hide felt a small drop of sweat tickle down the back of his neck when the street disappeared from view. It was too ironic; Hide was being lured to his demise by the same monster he was willing to accept as an irreversible addition to his friend’s body. 

Hide laughed at the bleak thoughts in his head and let the darkness encompass him entirely.  
_________

Kaneki nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone spontaneously unleashed the chorus of Hide’s favorite western song. After trudging through all of the unanswered messages, Hide’s name flashing on the screen seemed too ethereal to be real. 

The Backstreet Boys hit ended with the ring of a tiny bell to signal a voicemail was in process. Against his better judgment, Kaneki tapped the button to listen to the voicemail as it recorded. 

“YO, Kaneki!” Kaneki wanted nothing more than to sag in relief of hearing his friend in real time, but the sounds in the background and the abnormal way Hide was shouting into the phone caused him to sit up in alarm. 

“I’m really missin ya big time right about now,” Hide began. For the next couple of minutes, Kaneki listened in growing panic as Hide went off in several meaningless tangents with awkwardly long pauses randomly between phrases. 

The blond started with a loud hissing noise in the background. Next he seemed to walk through a party of some sort while chatting away. Hide and the noise trailed off to silence for nearly an entire minute which felt like an eternity on Kaneki’s end. Finally, Hide mentioned the how the 6th Ward wasn’t safe. 

Kaneki felt his stomach sink in defeat when he realized Hide knew where his hideout lied. The half ghoul kept the phone glued to his ear as he ran to put on his mask and shoes when Hide started wailing his name. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Hide was perfect bait for that new weed growing around the 6th Ward. His friend even mentioned, Imbiber?, a ghoul with a similar description was wanted by the CCG. Kaneki had meant to chase the ghoul away earlier, but he had somehow eluded the half-ghoul’s grasp.

Kaneki slide the window in his room open and used his kagune to wrap around the fire escape and launch out onto the apartment complex’s roof after checking for civilians. His feet barely tapped against the concrete before he sprinted across the rooftop with his three rinkaku shimmering behind him. 

The half-ghoul scurried across building after building with his phone still tightly pressed to his ear. Hide’s voice sounded much further away. Had he dropped it? 

After running halfway across the ward, Kaneki located the party Hide must have originally diverted from. He panted behind the seam of his mask as his eyes darted around for any sign of his friend. 

Kaneki’s body trembled with adrenaline when he caught sight of a bright blond head turning into the gaping abyss of a secluded alleyway. 

The nineteen year old stepped back to the edge of the building while taking several deep breaths his body would be thankful for later. He slipped the phone in his pocket without ending the call in case he was mistaken. His heel caught the slight rise of the stone. Kaneki’s rinkaku curled close to his body, and he dashed to the other side of the rooftop. 

As he suspected, he didn’t have near enough momentum to clear the entire street. His kagune unfurled to help him flip twice and carry him to the building across the road. Kaneki landed with a soft click against the shell of the rooftop. He looked down to see Hide stripping off his jacket like a desperate salesman.

“Bud! Being a ghoul and all, how else are you gonna find such nice quality clothes?” Hide offered the garment to the bewildered ghoul. By this point, Imbiber seemed as confused as a ghoul with exposed kakugan could be. He tentatively gripped the jacket and zipped it over his black, band shirt. “See, I told you we were the same size,” the human gushed.  
Hide reached forward and tugged on the shoulders. “You like it? Maybe you should take it off. Unlike your awesome shirt, my guts will probably show up on it.”

“You’re pretty calm for a guy who’s about to be eaten, friend,” the male ghoul commented. 

Hide swayed in place, but nevertheless gave Imbiber a bright smile. “What good would panicking do? If I die, I don’t want you to run off and leave a giant pile of Hide leftovers when my screams attract people.” 

Imbiber patted Hide’s ruddy cheek with a tan hand. “Good boy. If only more humans were like you.” As he unzipped the jacket, Hide shot his hands from the ghoul’s shoulders and tugged it halfway over the ghoul’s head. Once his arms were efficiently trapped in a pretzel around his neck, Hide spun around and attempted to concentrate enough to walk out the alley. His nausea returned with full force, and he stumbled over his own feet. 

Kaneki dropped from the top of the building between the two. He shook out his fractured ankles and brought his thumb down against his index finger with a sickening crack. Hide paused in his efforts. 

Imbiber froze from the absence of Hide’s struggling and sound of the half-ghoul’s bones snapping. Kaneki’s scent washed over the ghoul. “You shitty beanpole,” he snapped as he finally tore his way through the shirt with his florescent green kagune, “Go find your own meal.” 

Kaneki regarded the ghoul’s exposed features with a cold glare. This ghoul was so confident in his abilities that he roamed about without a mask. How intolerable. Kaneki assumed Imbiber chose intoxicated prey because they had far less of a chance of being capable of understanding their surroundings enough to attempt running away. 

Imbiber’s bikaku spun at Kaneki with an unpracticed, awkward thrust. He easily blocked the poor attempt at an assault with one rinkaku. Without pause, the half ghoul twisted his back to Imbiber and stabbed the remaining two parts of his kagune into his chest. 

The ghoul spat out a clump of gooey, crimson blood and raised his hands against the weapon glittering red and black impaling his ribs. The scales expanded and ruptured more of his internal organs. Out of desperation, Imbiber drove his kagune toward Hide’s shell shocked form. 

Kaneki curled his kagune, so Imbiber’s nose nearly touched the leather on his mask. “Don’t hurt my friend, you useless weed,” he advised. With no warning, he flicked his opponent against the asphalt. The concrete buckled and cracked from the blow. 

Imbiber gasped as his injuries attempted to heal themselves. “Drunkards crawling through the streets only deserve to be eaten. Your friend is one of those useless members of society th-” the rest of his dying rant was cut off as Kaneki darted forward and kicked the ghoul into the air. 

“Hide is my heart. If you eat him, I’ll be alone in this fucked up world,” Kaneki stated as his kagune plunged through Imbiber’s face. “I’ll pluck you before you get the chance.” The rinkaku hardened and hurdled away from the others in a grotesque triangle. Blood and brain matter sprayed across the alley while the remainder of the body fell like a puppet with the strings cut off. The ghoul never had the chance to scream.

Kaneki’s stomach bubbled at the prospect of eating the deceased ghoul at his feet, but Hide’s presence nixed the idea. 

The half ghoul turned to the human. Hide sat in a ball at the alley’s entrance with his head tucked into his arms. 

Kaneki desperately wished to disappear into the night and vanish before Hide realized what kind of monster he had allowed himself to become. The past ten years were a complete waste. How could Hide ever accept-?

“Th-thanks for going all out for me again, Kaneki,” Hide hiccupped. Even intoxicated, the blond somehow saw past the white hair, mask, and exposed kakugan. Kaneki dropped his gaze to the ground and allowed his eye to flit back to the human gray and white. 

Hide used the wall as a support once again to shuffle his way to Kaneki. Heedless of the dripping innards around him, he lunged to his closest friend. 

The white haired teenager held Hide to his chest as he groaned about how Kaneki made his world spin. He sagged against him in a myriad of different kinds of relief until the half ghoul hooked his arms under Hide’s knees and along the back of his tank top to hold the human close to his torso. 

Hide cupped a hand to Kaneki’s blood stained cheek and let out his pent up emotions in an incessant babble all the way to Kaneki’s apartment.  
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬_________________________________________________________  
Sunlight filtered through the crease of Hide’s eyelids the next morning until the blond hummed in discontent and sank further beneath the covers. His fingertips smoothed over the silky surface of the comforter. Hide’s cotton quilt felt nothing like the one covering his body.

His brown eyes snapped open in distress as he reviewed the night before. The last detail to cross his mind’s eye was a ghoul’s kakugan. Besides the sick twisting of his stomach, Hide felt no repercussions from either being blackout drunk or attacked by a ghoul. His clothes had been traded for plaid pajama shorts and a white tee-shirt, but considering he was in a stranger’s bed, the outfit change was the least of his worries. 

He pulled the covers back down with clammy hands to expose his brown eyes again. A quick glance around the room brought up a painful lump in his throat. The tidiness, collection of novels, and shoes so far into his home all profoundly reflected the room’s inhabitant, Kaneki.

The door slightly creaked just loud enough for Hide to turn his gaze to the other brown eye peering curiously at the intruder. Hide allowed a small smile to stretch across his face. 

“Ah, you’re the girl I saw running to Anteiku that rainy day.”

Hinami shyly hmm’d in affirmation before clicking the door completely shut. 

Hide dug his head into the soft pillow in amazement. The low rumble of several men talking entered his range of hearing when he ceased shuffling around. They were too far away to make out the words, but Hide recognized Kaneki’s voice mainly directing the conversation. 

Hide flipped back to his original position when the talking ended with the punctuation of a door closing with a slight bang. He calmed his breathing to mimic the deep inhales and exhales of slumber when Kaneki entered the room. Hide was in his right mind enough to even add the slight pause between each breath. 

The bed dipped from Kaneki’s weight as he sat by Hide’s elbow. Hide felt his friend loom closer, but pull back as if he changed his mind about whatever he was planning. The action still sent Hide’s heart into a flurry despite Kaneki holding back in the end. 

The blond ended his charade by allowing his eyes to slit open and look up to his friend. 

“Hide,” he said as if the single word could somehow express the entirety of the turmoil within his head. 

“Good morning, Kaneki. It’s a bit early for Halloween practice, isn’t it?” Hide teased with a glance from his white hair to the black nails at the end of his fingers. 

Kaneki gave a weak smile. He curled his fingers to the inside of his palms and looked at his lap. “Do you… remember anything from last night?” An image from the previous night finally revealed itself to Hide. 

“Regretfully, I only remember a stunning man coming to my rescue,” Hide announced as he repressed a shudder. “I need to thank him for saving me from an early demise.” Kaneki clenched his fists closer together.

“You almost dying isn’t a joke, Hide.” Hide refused to let his smile drop from Kaneki’s stern tone. He wriggled his way over to the wall against the side of the bed and sat up with a bit of effort. 

“I know. Luckily my closest friend came back in time to save my sorry skin.”

Kaneki pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped the long crack along the screen. “I received my phone yesterday,” he mumbled. Hide nodded. 

“Could you tell I missed you? I must have left a hundred messages while you were gone.”

Kaneki gave the blond a look. “Two hundred and seventy nine.” Hide whistled at his own accomplishment.

“Now I sound like a creepy stalker.” Both the boys knew Hide had done far more intrusive acts in his desperation than leaving nearly three hundred texts and calls in Kaneki’s absence. 

The half ghoul clasped a hand over Hide’s shoulder, “I didn’t know you were suffering so much.”

Hide chuckled nervously, “What do you mean?” He gently placed his hand over Kaneki’s. “Of course I missed you.”

“When I walked you home last night, you told me everything you did for me.” The back of Hide’s neck prickled in apprehension. “You stole a dead ghoul’s clothes and put a tracking device on Yamori. You called the CCG when you knew where Aogiri’s hideout was located. You threw up when you explained the devices had audio sent to your computer.” The blood drained from Hide’s face. 

He never meant to let Kaneki know someone else knew exactly what transpired in that godforsaken room: the torture, screams, and deranged laughter equally dealt from both the demon who dragged Kaneki into that hell and Kaneki himself when he finally broke free. 

Kaneki twisted onto his knees and leaned forward until his and Hide’s breaths mingled together. The blond’s mind sidetracked to realize Kaneki must have helped him brush his teeth since his mouth didn’t reek of alcohol or more unattractively, vomit. The sweat and entrails had also vanished from his skin. Did Kanki rinse him off in the shower? The clean clothes pointed towards yes.

The nineteen year old’s hands gripped Hide’s shoulders almost painfully tight. “You’ve known how fucked up I am, but chased after me all this time,” his voice broke, “Why would you risk your life for me?”

Hide’s heart threatened to explode out of his chest as he wrapped his arms around Kaneki’s back. “Because I love you, dork. I don’t need to be saved or protected from the world. I just need my friend.” He rested his forehead on the juncture of Kaneki’s shoulder and neck. “I’ll happily accept whatever fucked up package you think you come in as long as you’re still breathing.”

Hide felt Kaneki shift in their embrace until a gentle pressure settled in his hair. The kiss ended with a soft “chu.” Tingles and sparks emanated from the source down the front of Hide’s chest to the core of his abdomen. Kaneki’s lips parted as a similar feeling warmed the entire bottom half of his face and tightened his throat. 

Hide allowed his arms to drop loosely around Kaneki’s waist. When his friend didn’t protest the action, he lifted his face until his lips could reach the half ghoul’s pale jaw. At first, Hide’s lips remained uncertainly still, and the two relished in the skin to skin contact. A tiny noise from Kaneki’s end inspired the blond to drag his closed mouth along his jaw and divert to Kaneki’s slightly pursed lips. 

Kaneki intertwined his hands in Hide’s hair and pressed the human closer against his body.

The pulling caused their lips to slide and a touch of saliva to intrude the kiss just along the broken seams of their lips. 

Neither pulled away, and they parted their mouths further to take in a gasp of air. Warm, damp air ghosted across Kaneki’s neck and Hide’s right cheek. 

A pitiful noise escaped the blond’s throat as his bones seemed to give up on supporting him. The two sank onto the bed with Hide’s back against the disturbed sheets and Kaneki’s knees nuzzling the sides of the human’s stomach. 

The duo paused when Kaneki drew back just far enough to look Hide in the eyes. A silent exchange between them sent both their hearts racing into overdrive. “Kaneki,” he breathed out, “Kiss me. Please, kiss me.” 

The half ghoul dipped his head forward with a slight smile and obliged. Kaneki loved how Hide’s bottom lip felt against the seam of his mouth and the soft “chu”s as Hide separated their mouths to kiss him again and again. He trailed his fingers across Kaneki’s back and veered off beneath his black tank top to his shuddering belly. Hide stilled and dragged his hands over his friend’s stomach. “What?” He asked aloud.

Kaneki shot back as if he had touched boiling water. “No, no, take off your shirt. I think you have some rocks taped to your stomach.” He stared down for a few moments before a smile cracked its way across his face. Laughter bubbled out of him until it developed into broken wheezing. Kaneki drooped onto Hide’s chest and made the two bounce slightly from his silent, shaking laughter. 

He finally calmed down enough to peel off his shirt and kiss Hide’s neck. “I love you,” he confessed with his lips and front of his teeth catching against the skin. Hide practically flat lined against the mattress. 

Another snicker left Kaneki as he rose and looked at Hide’s dazed expression turn even more astonished when his brown eyes took in his exposed torso. From the way he was sitting, Kaneki felt Hide harden beneath the thin fabric of his shorts. “I didn’t know you were into muscle maniacs, Hide.” 

“Only when they’re you.” 

“Cheesy,” Kaneki tapped a finger against Hide’s chest and shifted his hips slightly to feel more of Hide’s erection.

“Tease,” Hide rebuffed past the catch in his breath. Kaneki noticed Hide’s hands clench and release from the sides of his thighs. The half ghoul gently grasped his hands and splayed them across his abs. His lungs emptied in a rush as Hide took the initiative to slide his fingers down each dip and rise of his rigid muscles. 

“I’m impressed,” he admitted as he curled his fingers over the ‘v’ that enticingly led beneath the drawstring of his shorts. 

Kaneki responded by leaning forward until he could lightly suck on the edge of Hide’s jaw. A muffled moan sounded as Hide covered his mouth with the back of his hand. Heat gathered low in his gut when Kaneki started a string of wet kisses to the corner of his mouth. 

“Is this okay?” 

Hide arched into Kaneki’s touch. “Yes. Please, please,” he begged. “I’d let you do anything to me right now.” Kaneki nipped Hide’s bottom lip and delved his tongue into his parted mouth. He swallowed down an embarrassingly loud keen from the taste of Hide’s tongue against his. 

Their tongues curled pleasantly around one another. Hide moaned from the delightful shower of sparks his nerves fired off. His hands tangled into Kaneki’s coarse, white hair. The half ghoul broke away as his insides locked up in panic. The only people who grabbed his hair so roughly had been Rize and Yamori. He grabbed Hide’s hands and slammed them down just above his head on top of the pillow. 

“Kaneki, I’m sorry, man.” He stayed completely still as Kaneki regarded Hide’s flushed body. The nineteen year old pressed back against the frozen body once his slight panic subsided. 

“You’re fine,” Kaneki mumbled against Hide’s ear. Hide interlaced their fingers and rubbed his thumbs over Kaneki’s. 

“Kaneki,” he whispered after a moment of only panting filling the room. “should I have brought handcuffs?” A watered down laugh gave Hide permission to grin at the weak joke. 

Kaneki tightened his grip on Hide. “No. I like holding you down.” Those words sent blood rushing south. 

Hide attempted to respond, but only a whine left his lips. He keened as the white haired teenager brought their hips erotically together. His pelvis canted towards the contact. The hard lumps at the front of their shorts rubbed together from the action and sent electricity radiating beneath their skin. 

Hide’s vocabulary dwindled until he only could gasp Kaneki’s name. He pulled against the hands holding him against the bed and savored the stretch and burn of his muscles. Kaneki ground their arousals against one another until Hide had no idea what nonsense was pouring from his open mouth. The half ghoul only gave an occasional, repressed, “Nnnhh.”

He crossed Hide’s wrists against the top of his head and held them down with one hand. “If you want to stop-” Hide squirmed to let Kaneki know that was the complete opposite of what he wanted. He traced the line of Hide’s collarbone with a tender smile. “Just let me know.” 

His black nails sketched a line down Hide’s slender chest down to the lip of his pants. Kaneki twisted his fingers beneath the band while watching Hide’s expression. The blond looked like the definition of lewd with his parted lips, unending blush, arms restrained, and heaving chest. A coil of heat in Kaneki’s core wound tighter at the sight.

To keep a sense of self control, Kaneki allowed Hide’s arms to slide from his grasp. Hide kept his hands above his head as he assumed his friend wanted despite having the freedom to move them.

The blond looked up into Kaneki’s dilated eyes. Black encompassed nearly the entirety of the gray iris. 

Cool digits brushed against Hide’s feverish arousal. His knees quirked up from the rush of pleasure and nearly knocked Kaneki off balance. The half ghoul slid his hands to the short’s sides and pulled them slowly off Hide’s legs once he regained his composure, suddenly extremely grateful for the elastic band simplifying the action. 

Hide ground his teeth together in response to his erection’s exposure against the chilled air. Had it still been winter, the bite of the air may have actually felt painful instead of slightly uncomfortable. 

His thought process came to grinding halt when Kaneki pulled the drawstring on his shorts and shimmed out of his own pants and underwear. 

After the initial awkwardness of being completely exposed to one another, Hide peeled his gaze away from Kaneki’s arousal back to his crimson face. “You’re so cute,” as soon as the words escaped his mouth, Hide felt a small piece of himself shrivel inside.

“Cute, huh?” 

“Adorable, even.” 

Kaneki crawled back over Hide with a hazardous gleam in his eye. He lifted a hand over Hide’s mouth. “Really?”

When Hide opened up to reply, three fingers slid past his teeth and lightly caressed his tongue. Kaneki felt himself twitch when Hide’s hot tongue tentatively stroked the slight webbing between his fingers. 

Hide moaned around the invading digits when Kaneki leisurely pumped them in and out of his mouth. He attempted to suck Kaneki’s fingers, but the resulting slurping noise made him choose to smooth his tongue over and between them instead. 

Once more than thoroughly coated in saliva, Kaneki removed himself from between Hide’s teeth. Drool spilled provocatively past his lips, so Kaneki elected to add his to the mix. Hide sighed his name as the half ghoul sucked on his bottom lip. 

Kaneki dragged himself away from Hide’s inviting mouth and balanced on his knees and one hand. Hide lifted an eyebrow in question after Kaneki touched his own chin in thought. 

Flushing even darker, Kaneki reached his drenched fingers to the crease of his ass. He pushed past the tight ring with a shudder at the foreign feeling. Hide’s lower gut viciously lurched at the sight of his best friend preparing himself. His own blush traveled from his cheeks and the tips of his ears to halfway down his chest and shoulders. 

“St-still cute?” Kaneki asked around a high pitched moan. Hide’s erection throbbed from the state of Kaneki’s voice. 

“Mmm-hmm,” Hide answered as he leaned against the heels of his hands to bring his lips to Kaneki’s collarbone. The delectable smacking noises sent a quake of pleasure along their midsections. 

Kaneki added his other two fingers as the minutes passed by. The initial sting muted to a pleasant burn. He felt a little cheated from the lack of stars in his vision, but books did tend to exaggerate. Besides, the feeling of Hide against his shoulder was enough to make his throat tighten with physical and emotional satisfaction.

He slowly sank onto Hide with a soft sigh; the precum dripping from Hide’s slit helping tremendously with the process. 

The blond short circuited once more when Kaneki sat fully on his lap. The heat surrounding his arousal sent a shower of sparks across the entirety of his body. Kaneki and he were impossibly close together, but one ache was filled for another to take its place. “Ken~”

“Breathe, Hide.” He took in a ragged breath and reached for Kaneki’s hands. With their fingers laced together again, Hide felt the intensity he craved from the moment his closest friend vanished. 

Kaneki lifted his hips slightly before dipping back down. He shook from silent laughter at the blissful expression that dragged Hide’s jaw down nearly against his chest. 

The riding ended a short while later with a breathless cry of Kaneki’s name. The teenager stilled when Hide drove up inside him completely out of rhythm and stickiness coated his insides. 

The only comparable feeling Hide had to the orgasm was the day the gym teacher forced him to climb a twenty foot rope. The tension and lactic acid had him sweating bullets and the strain on all of his muscles was almost too much to bear. Once he finally dropped back to the mat, the utter lack of pain release a flood of endorphins that left him too giddy to stand. 

Kaneki curled into the crook of Hide’s arm as the blond struggled to even his breathing. Hide turned into Kaneki’s warmth and cupped his pink cheek. He stroked his thumb over the half ghoul’s cheekbone in complete adoration. 

Hide brought his leg around the back of Kaneki’s thighs and sighed from the feeling of closeness. 

Kaneki nuzzled closer to his side and nipped at Hide’s ribs. He wanted more and felt frustratingly needy from the loss of friction. 

Hide’s brain activity rose just enough to finally take a note of his surroundings. The air in the room smelled musty with sex with the bloom of spring hinting in the background. Kaneki’s sheets (the comforter had somehow wound up on the floor) were damp from a mixture of bodily fluids. 

Once his mind finally accepted the fact it was Kaneki panting in his arms, Hide felt a wave of guilt sweep over him. “I’m sorry.”

Kaneki looked up at him with wide eyes. “What are you sorry for?” He gave a sharp keen after Hide palmed his throbbing erection. 

“You didn’t finish.” 

Gray eyes squeezed shut. “No, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to.” Hide paused and moved his hand to a more neutral body part. 

“Do you want me to stop?”

“... not really…” 

Hide grinned, “You’re allowed to ask me to touch you.” He lightly dragged his fingers over the source of Kaneki’s frustration. 

He shivered in Hide’s arms. This felt one hundred percent more effective than his attempt earlier. The way his exposed skin slid against the blond’s with every breath and twitch gave a far superior sense of intimacy. 

Hide kissed Kaneki’s forehead. The muffled moans behind the half ghoul’s hand increased his desire to shower his friend with affection. 

He slid his grip over the curve of Kaneki’s butt. Kaneki only pressed closer to Hide, so he continued trailing his fingers across the muscle.

A loud keen broke past Kaneki’s defenses. Hide splaying two fingers inside him felt heavenly compared to earlier. 

“Ken, I’m willing to do anything for you to make that noise again.” Kaneki buried his burning face into Hide’s chest. Absolutely not-

Stars didn’t dot his vision; Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut as if he were staring directly at the sun. Hide curled his fingers languidly against the spot the duo had failed to locate earlier. 

The half ghoul forgot how embarrassingly loud his moans were as pure ecstasy sang throughout his veins. He mewled and gasped and lost control as Hide swept across his prostate again and again. Kaneki gripped Hide’s arm with enough strength to leave behind four crescents imprinted on his skin.

With Hide’s impromptu onslaught, Kaneki’s release washed over him before much time passed. The feeling was like burrowing into a blanket fresh out the dyer, taking off his constricting clothes, and slathering aloe on a burn all in one, but somehow even more.

Kaneki slung one arm across Hide’s chest and tugged the blond into an embrace.  
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬________________________________________________________________________

The cuddling lasted for nearly half an hour before Hide rose onto an elbow and supported his upper body weight with a hand against his cheek. 

He gazed in absolute wonder at his resting friend while his free fingers pushed Kaneki’s captivating white locks behind his ear. They caressed the side of his friend’s neck, up his shoulder, down his slightly jutting shoulder blade, each rib’s divot between the next, and finally rested against Kaneki’s hip before reversing, then repeating the process. 

Kaneki stared at Hide’s face of focused concentration with a tender expression in his eyes. A feeling like a feather tangled in his throat threatened to convert into tears, but the half ghoul refused to cry in front of Hide for no apparent reason.

The human took a pause to pull the sheet higher over their nude bodies. He looked to Kaneki’s owlish, soft gray eyes and smiled. The other boy’s lips twitched upward in response. 

His heart crawled into his throat when Hide kissed just beside his left eye, the one that inverted colors and unmistakably declared his ghoul status. “No matter what world you find yourself in, I want to be a part of it,” he confessed in a hushed tone. 

“Hide.”

“Human, ghoul. A bibliophilic sweetheart or fucked up, absent protagonist. I love every part of you; even the pieces you think are unworthy or broken. I love you.” This is the reason Kaneki left Hide behind. The blond meant every word he said. He refused to hold back his affection and made the half ghoul feel almost

Deserving of those sweet words. 

Like he belonged while everyone else wanted him to choose a side, ghoul or human.

Hide watched a tear collect on the end of Kaneki’s eyelashes. The water grew in size until it was too heavy and fell to his nose. Then the tear traced a salty path across the end of Kaneki’s jaw and dripped onto the bed. 

The calm before the storm.

Hide was used to Kaneki’s brand of crying, soul wrenching sobs accompanied with a wretched expression screwing his features almost beyond recognition. 

Somehow this topped every previous outburst of emotion. 

Kaneki buried his head into Hide’s chest and wailed. His nails dug painfully into his biceps while the rest of his body curled around Hide in a knot of sorrow. 

The human held the half ghoul until Kaneki looked up to Hide and hiccuped around heaving gulps of air, “H-Hide. I missed you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Literally how drinking games go. Trust me, they require no brain effort and are as ridiculous as I wrote. 
> 
> I tried my best to capture the essence of Tsukiyama (I wonder how that would smell….). 
> 
> Sorry for the cheesy ending, but damn HideKane to me always falls back on how much they truly love and appreciate the other’s existence.
> 
> *cracks knuckles until they break* This is the longest oneshot I’ve written in my entire life. Please let me know what you thought. I love reading your comments and advice. 
> 
> Endnote: Consent is always sexy, friends. This isn’t a guide on how to do smex in the slightest and http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/ is a website my school nurse and I would suggest if you have awkward or any questions about sex in general.


End file.
